CT Divorce

Most of us, at one time or another, need to seek legal advice. This booklet is intended to provide general
information to help you answer some basic questions about the process of choosing and working with an
attorney. It also includes a section on how to deal with disputes with attorneys over fees or the handling of
your case. This publication is not equivalent to legal advice, and should not be relied upon as such. Any
specific questions concerning your legal rights should be presented to an attorney.

Divorce in Connecticut

What are the grounds for divorce in Connecticut?
Connecticut has a “no fault” provision in its divorce laws. This means that neither spouse has to prove that
the other was at fault in causing the marriage to break down. You can get a divorce if the “marriage has
broken irretrievably” and there is no hope of reconciliation.

Are there other legal grounds for divorce?
Yes. In Connecticut, you can get a divorce on the following grounds in addition to irretrievable
breakdown:

• a separation for l8 months or more;
• adultery;
• fraudulent contract;
• willful desertion for one year;
• seven years absence when the spouse has not been heard from;
• habitual intemperance (i.e., active alcoholism);
• intolerable cruelty;
• sentence to life imprisonment;
• conviction of a crime involving conjugal duty which is punishable with imprisonment for at least a
year (these are sex crimes);
• legal confinement in a hospital or institution for mental illness for an accumulated period of 5 years
within the last six years.

Each of these grounds has a specific legal definition. Most people choose not to file under one of these
specific grounds because of the necessity of proving it.

How does the court take the grounds of the divorce into consideration?
The court may take the grounds of the divorce into consideration when deciding issues of custody, alimony, child support, and division of property. This is true even in the case of “irretrievable breakdown.”

Do both spouses have to agree that they want a divorce?
No. It is possible for only one spouse to claim that the marriage has irretrievably broken down, while the
other claims it has not.

If you* want a divorce and your spouse does not, he/she can request that the court order both of you to
attend conciliatory meetings during the three month waiting period (See the Divorce Process p.11) with a
family or religious counselor mutually acceptable to both of you, or a Family Relations Officer.

Conciliatory sessions may serve a variety of purposes from reconciling the marriage to agreeing to the
divorce. If you and your spouse cannot agree on a counselor, the court will appoint one. There must be at
least two sessions, and failure of either partner to attend both sessions will delay any action on the divorce
for six months. The court will direct one or both of you to pay the couselor’s fees. Family Relations
Officers do not charge a fee, so if neither of you can afford a counselor, you can use their services.
Normally, attorneys do not attend these sessions.
*“You” refers to you in conjunction with your attorney. Your attorney will make requests, file papers, etc.
as your legal representative, but remember that the decisions are yours.
*If, after attending the conciliatory sessions, you still want a divorce and your spouse does not, the court
will probably agree that the marriage has “irretrievably broken down” and grant the divorce.

Is there a residency requirement?
Yes. You or your spouse must have lived in Connecticut for the 12 months before filing a complaint or for
12 months prior to the date the divorce is granted. You can also fulfill the residency requirement if you (or
your spouse) had your home here when you got married and returned here with the intention of living here
or if the grounds for the divorce arose here.

Do I need an attorney?
In all but the simplest divorces you will need to hire an attorney. Simple divorces generally are defined as
those in which the couple has no children, the couple has divided property and assets to their satisfaction,
neither spouse wants any monetary settlement from each other, and the couple has settled any disruptive
emotional issues between them. For assistance in choosing an attorney see
CWEALF’s booklet How to Choose An Attorney. For a referral to an attorney you may want to contact
CWEALF, the Connecticut Bar Association Referral Service, local women’s centers or local county bar
associations. ( See Resources.)

Can my spouse and I use the same attorney?
No. Ethically, an attorney cannot represent more than one client in a case where there is the possibility of a conflict of interest between those clients. In a divorce case, each spouse has his or her own demands and concerns regarding custody, support and the property settlement. It is impossible for one attorney to
represent the interests of both parties.

Occasionally, if both spouses have worked out all the details of their divorce (for example, in cases where
the spouses have lived apart for several years, have already agreed upon division of their property, and have made arrangements for child custody, visitation, and support), one attorney may agree to prepare the paperwork only. Ethically, however, that attorney can only represent one of you. The other spouse has no legal representation, so in the case of conflict, that spouse must obtain her/his own attorney.

How much will a divorce cost?
The costs for a divorce include the fee for filing the papers with the court (approximately $185), the fee for
the sheriff to serve the papers (approximately $50-$75), and approximately $15 for a certified copy of the
judgment. Attorneys’ fees for a divorce start at $750-$1500 and increase. Many attorneys require a retainer fee for divorce cases before they will begin the work. Because attorneys are usually paid by the hour, the cost is greater if your divorce is complicated. A divorce where child custody and property settlement(s) are contested would be considered complicated. When you select an attorney, s/he should give you an estimate of the cost. However, if you had originally told the attorney that it would be a simple uncontested divorce and later it becomes contested, the cost may be considerably greater than the initial estimate. (For more information on costs and fees see CWEALF’s booklet How to Choose an Attorney.)

Can I get my spouse to pay my attorney fees?
Generally, no. You are responsible for the legal fees and costs that you incur. It may be possible for your
attorney to request some fees from your spouse, but some attorneys do not want to be in the position of
negotiating for their fees.

What if I don’t have the money to pay for an attorney?

Unfortunately, this is a common problem and there are not many alternatives. If your divorce will be very
simple, you may want to consider representing yourself through a pro se divorce. (See Pro Se Divorce pg.
13.) If you are receiving state or federal assistance or qualify as “low income” you may be able to get legal
representation from a legal aid program. (See Resources for a list of legal aid offices.) Some legal aid
programs do not handle divorces, and some handle them only if there is domestic violence. Some legal
assistance programs work with cooperating attorneys, but there is usually a waiting list. You should also
look in newspapers for low cost legal clinics. You can try asking the court to make your spouse pay your
attorney fees as part of the settlement, but the amount of legal fees the court orders may not cover the entire cost. You may be able to persuade an attorney to work for reduced fees. You may also call CWEALF and ask for an attorney referral. Many of CWEALF’s attorneys offer sliding scale fees, payment schedules and reduced rates.

How long does it take to get a divorce in Connecticut?

There is a 90-day waiting period which begins on the “return date.”
After 60 days a hearing date can be scheduled. The actual meeting cannot take place until the 90 days has lapsed. The length of your divorce process depends on how quickly the complaint is served on your spouse,how soon the hearing is scheduled after the 90-day period, and whether the divorce is contested. If the divorce is not contested, the process will take a minimum time of approximately six months. If the divorce is contested, you must schedule a hearing or trial which will greatly increase the length of the process. Courts in some judicial districts are backlogged with cases, and it may take longer to schedule a hearing or trial in those areas. Check with the court clerk for your judicial district to find out how long trial scheduling will take.

What is the difference between a contested and an uncontested divorce?
In an uncontested divorce both spouses, with the help of their attorneys if they are retained, negotiate a
settlement on all aspects of the divorce. The issues that are negotiated include property division, child
custody and visitation, support payments and/or alimony. They present the settlement to the court, the
judge reviews it and grants the divorce. Most divorces are settled this way.

In a contested divorce, the spouses and their attorneys are unable to reach an agreement on all or some of the aspects of the divorce. They must then go to a hearing or trial. The judge makes the final decision. It is important to remember that contested divorces take more time and are therefore more expensive. In a contested divorce the judge has enormous discretion in making decisions about contested and uncontested issues. If you are not satisfied with the decision there is often very little you can do about it.

What is an annulment?

An annulment ends an invalid marriage, whereas a divorce ends a valid marriage. An annulment is legal
recognition that the marriage is void. Annulments are rare in Connecticut. In order to get an annulment you must prove that the marriage is illegal or “void or voidable under the laws of this state or of the state in which the marriage was performed.” For example, if the person who performed the marriage is not legally
allowed to perform a marriage, the marriage would be illegal in Connecticut and you could get an
annulment. The process for an annulment is similar to that of a divorce except there is no 90-day waiting
period. If you are seeking an annulment you will need the advice and representation of an attorney.
A legal annulment is different from a religious annulment. In a religious annulment, your marriage is
declared invalid by clergy from your faith, but you are still legally married according to state law and
would have to obtain a divorce or annulment before remarrying.

What is the difference between legal separation and a divorce?

The grounds and procedure for a legal separation are the same as those for divorce. However, at the end of a legal separation you are still legally married. You must agree on custody, property settlement, support
and/or alimony, just as in a divorce. Legally separated couples may not remarry without first obtaining a
divorce. Social Security considers you to be married. This is important because, if you divorce after ten
years of marriage, you may receive social security benefits based on your ex-spouse’s earnings. The tax,
estate, and insurance consequences may differ from those of a divorce. If, at any time after the legal
separation, one spouse decides to get a divorce, a simple motion to the court along with an afflidavit stating that the parties have not resumed marrital relations, will convert a separation into a divorce without the participation of the other spouse. After the legal separation process has been completed, the court does not require a 90-day waiting period to grant a divorce.

If my spouse leaves are we legally separated?

No. If you are simply living apart, you are not legally separated regardless of the length of time. You do
not have the benefits of any court orders regarding property, children, or support. Enforcing informal
agreements may be difficult.

What is divorce mediation?
In divorce mediation the mediator helps the two parties reach an agreement about the issues in their divorce which are in dispute. The mediator does not make any decisions or judgments. Divorce mediation works best when both parties are able to sit in the same room and talk to each other, and neither feels intimidated by the other person. Divorce mediators may be counselors or attorneys, or a team of both. If the mediator is an attorney, ethically s/he cannot represent either party. You should seriously consider consulting an attorney prior to finalizing any agreement. Mediation may be private or handled by the Family Relations

Division of Superior Court.
Can I change my name after the divorce?
Under Connecticut law, you have the right to decide whether you want to use your maiden name or your
married name after your divorce. If you want to resume using the name you used prior to your marriage, the easiest method is for you (or your attorney) to ask the judge for a “change of name” as part of your divorce agreement. If you do not change your name at the time of your divorce, you may still change it later. You can either go back to court to have your named changed or do it by “common law” method, i.e., using the name you choose consistently and changing all your official documents to that name.

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Connecitcut Divorce – Children

If you have children and decide to move out of the marital home, you need to consider the cost of having two homes. In the beginning of your divorce, you and/or your spouse will be faced with many extra living expenses which will make it difficult to live the lifestyle you are accustomed to.

Let’s take a look at an example…

James, a father of two, has decided to leave his wife and move into an apartment. He has also decided his children are to remain with his soon-to-be ex-wife. James now must pay for all expenses associated with his new apartment combined with a monthly support amount (spousal and child support). He must also consider the cost of moving. This includes first and last month’s rent, moving expenses, time off of work to move, utility hookup fees, and rental storage. However, the cost of moving is negligible in comparison to the total cost over time.

To put this scenario into a clearer financial picture, let’s assume James’ salary is approximately $50,000 per year. Before the divorce, James’ bring home pay after taxes was approximately $36,000 per year ($3,000 per month). But after the divorce, James is ordered to pay spousal and child support in the amount of $1500 per month ($18,000 per year).

In some cases, the assets are completely obliterated in legal fees. If this were the case for James, he would be starting over financially. Instead of owning a home with a take-home pay of $3000 per month, he is now forced to live in an apartment with half of his original take-home pay. With this situation, it will take a number of years before James is able to get back on his feet financially again.

Since James has children, he will need to have a room for them. Instead of living in a studio or one bedroom apartment, he will need at least a two-bedroom apartment. If James is like most fathers, he will only be able to see his children four days out of the month (every other weekend). The remaining 24 days out of the month the children’s room will not be in use.

On the contrary, James’ soon-to-be ex-wife will be trying to maintain the past standard of living for the children and herself on half of the monthly income that once was available. If his soon-to-be ex-wife decided to get a job or increase her hours at an existing job, the expenses of child care will easily offset the additional income earned.

Some individuals move into a relative’s home, with a friend, or a hotel. If you have a girl/boyfriend it is advised not to move in with them. The knowledge of you having a romantic involvement during the divorce is like putting gasoline on a fire. Spouses become very hostile when they discover the presence of another. This is an emotional time. Try not to add additional emotions to an already turbulent situation. If you are dating someone, keep it as discrete as possible. Even a year after the split, you should consider keeping your personal life in cognito.

Another cost most spouses do not see is the total financial burden over a lifetime. This includes child support until the age of 18 or the age of majority is reached and spousal support up to the age of retirement. For example, let’s say you were married at age 20 and divorced at age 31. You are now considered a long-term marriage (over 10 years). Let’s also say your spouse does not remarry. This means you could be faced with paying support for another 34 years. If the support amount were $1,000 per month, your overall payment would be $408,000. This figure does not include any increases in the award.

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Connecticut Divorce – Think About It

Connecticut Divorce

So You’re Thinking About Getting a Divorce

If you are reading this Blog, then you belong to one of three groups of people:

• you’re unhappy in your marriage and considering a divorce
• you’re already going through the divorcing process or,
• you know of someone who is either contemplating divorce or in the midst of one.

Whatever the situation, you’ve made an excellent decision in reading this blog because as you will find that it will provide you with tons of information, resources, tips and advice on the divorcing process.

And besides being free, what separates this blog from all of the others found on the Internet, is all the information contained within this site will not require you to move an inch away from your computer to access it. That’s pretty darn good considering how stressful it is going through this process.

Are You Shell-Shocked by the Decision to Divorce?

I don’t know of too many people who have gone through a divorce without at least some disruption to their lives. At a minimum, getting divorced is unsettling. It requires having to make decisions and changes and to re-organize lots of things in your life. This may seem like an enormous task even if you are the one initiating the changes. However, having to make these changes at a time when you’re not expecting them – makes the process of divorce all that more challenging.

Feel free to email this valuable blog to anyone whom may benefit from it

The url is https://connecticutdivorce.wordpress.com, go ahead copy and past it.

It’s very normal to feel stressed, anxious, sad, angry and depressed during the divorcing process. These feelings can go in cycles and at times they tend to cluster together. Sometimes people describe feeling as if being on an emotional rollercoaster – feeling up one moment and down the next.

Divorce is a time when there are lots of important decisions and changes to be made. There are also the financial implications of divorce – both in legal costs and those associated with reorganizing one’s life – that weigh heavily on people, These certainly add to the stress of getting divorced. You need to know that this is a quite common experience for people going through a divorce. It is an emotionally trying time and people’s ability to cope is often stretched to the max. The good news is that for most people who go through a divorce, this difficult time is usually short lived and does pass. There is a light at the end of the tunnel!

As a paralegal, with personal experience in Do It Yourself Divorces in the state of Connecticut (yes I too went through these feelings and instances of emotional distress and confusion) I find that the process is much easier when guided, not by a therapist, or Lawyer, but simply by someone who can truly put themselves in your shoes.

I encourage you to read further, and learn how you can overcome the beginning of a new chapter in your life

I can be contacted via email: connecticutdivorce@gmail.com

Filed under: Connecticut Divorce, Connecticut Divorce